i know, i haven’t blogged in a while. i’ve decided that i am a popcorn blogger; someone that decides to blog when an idea, thought, or reason pops up and usually no more. i admire people who blog daily, monthly or even regularly but that’s not me. so, today i had a thought…. actually, it’s been in my head for awhile now but i’ve never felt the urge to write much about it until now. i did a similar blog a while back but this one is a bit more simple, straight-forward and to the point. it’s about manners. first of all, let me say that manners are not frivolous. manners do not beg interpretation. unlike many things, there is a globally agreed on set of basic rules that are the very least that we, as members of the universal society , can do to assist in spreading just a little bit of civility, peace, and respect throughout our world. it’s the first and foremost step to humanitarian action. manners are essential in a human society. i do not understand why some people feel like the use of them are optional. technically, i guess one does have the freedom to engage in mannerly behavior… but i simply do not understand anyone who would choose not to. are they trying to make a point that nobody dictates anything to them? are they trying to make a point to the person to whom the manners should be directed that they do not acknowledge, appreciate or respect them? do they have some sort of impairment or disorder such as attention deficit [a.d.d.] that interferes with their memory every single time they need to make an effort?
manners do differ around the world, yes. however, there are certain actions of primary decency inherent in every society that have evolved for the survival of the species which includes peace, respect [funny how that word keeps coming up] and a general sense of just “being nice” that is internally or even externally based, in some people’s situations, that is necessary in the global community. after having numerous experiences where one does not utilize proper manners, i have come to the conclusion that these people are either mentally challenged [they simply do not understand], egotistical, immature, manipulative, or just plain mean. i can no longer give excuse to store clerks who do not greet their customers in a pleasant manner, to friends that fail to communicate at least minimally, to anyone that received a gift [relished or not] and does not issue some form of thank you, to children that address their parents inconsiderately, to those fake nice people who use tone and facial expression to insult, or to any of the many people out there that somehow, somewhere decided not to practice this basic human survival tactic. in addition, it is my view that people guilty of being non-mannerly should apologize [another basic human survival tactic] to the person to which they acted upon such a way. i have a theory, supported by research [it is late, i will be glad to provide sources upon request later], that natural selection is still occurring. who do you think will be the ones to survive? the mannerly or the non-mannerly. i don’t think that is even a question. if you don’t have manners, you may get away with it for awhile, or with people to whom you’ve convinced you have a valid reason for acting in such a barbaric way, but in the end, you will have fewer friends, less respect in your family and community, and most probably, less satisfying marriages and i would leap to surmise, fewer children or even fewer successful children . on the other hand, those with manners have succeeded in the first step of looking beyond themselves and it is these people and their bloodlines which will endure through the process of natural selection. social behavior is as important as physical attributes, mental prowess or emotional awareness. there is a song entitled ‘only the strong survive‘ … and true human strength is a combination of all of these elements. so think about it. are you mannerly? is there someone you need to go back and make things right with because of your dis-mannerly conduct? do people really like you? do you like yourself? perhaps you need to garner respect for yourself first before you can begin to take the baby step of branching out to others. but don’t wait! if you do, you might find yourself “voted off the island“.
there simply is not excuse for this kind of rudeness and to me, that’s what people who do not practice proper manners [whether they feel like it or not] are. simply rude. i was on a social networking site tonight chatting with a gentleman from yorkshire. he asked me what i liked so much about england in contrast to the united states [i had made several comments to that effect on my profile]. guess what was one of my top answers….. you got it. manners. to take it a bit further, think of maslow’s heirarchy. basic needs must be fulfilled before one can move on to attaining lesser needs and eventually desires. it’s the same with manners. if a person never learns to be mannerly, they will simply become stuck and be unable to progress through the social conventions designed for success, fulfillment and joy. i don’t know about you, but i wouldn’t want to spend my whole life missing those things. and hey, i wholeheartedly admit that no one is perfect. i am sure i have offended a few people in my lifetime and if i have, please let me know, and to make a general statement, i apologize. the thing is, our world is what we are. lots of people out there are trying to make it better. they have moved past the manner thing a long time ago. these are the people that are changing our world. muscians like bono, coldplay, greenday; organizations like oxfam, amnesty international , and conservation international; politians like barack obama [obama's angels]; independant groups like the elders. how does it make you feel to read about all the things these people are doing while you refuse to utter so much as a simply thank you? so , please, don’t brag about “going green” or volunteering”at a homeless shelter if you don’t have the decency to be a proper human first. in summation, i could rant on for hours about this and tell you stories you would not believe but i’ll end for now. i am sure you have gotten my point. if you are one of these un-mannerly people, do yourself and our world a favor… look past yourself and start in on the manners. you just might find it brings more to you than you put out. thank you for taking time to read this blog. i felt it was important and feel much better having had my say. good day!
take these quizzes:
do i have good manners?
are you rude or nice?
rudeness, interrupted: are you rude?
how to be polite and mannerly:
how to be polite
how to be polite to everyone
how to have good manners
dealing with rude people:
fed up with rudeness?
how to handle rude people
reward yourself:
i practice good manners T-shirt
*note: there is a plethora of great books out there on manners; one of my favorites is “Miss Manners: Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”, but remember, you have to read it, not just use it as a home decor accessory
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